Monday, December 10, 2012

Spineolessness the Deadly Scourge of Washington

House Speaker, John Boehner made some waves this week in Washington D.C.  He removed four GOP conservative representatives from two separate committees, the House Budget Committee and the House Financial Services Committee respectively.  To complicate matters further, Boehner then submitted an objectionable budget proposal to the White House without the approval of the GOP caucus – a proposal the White House duly rejected.  As the reality of the fiscal cliff edges closer each day, there is plenty of reason to believe that Obama will gladly jump over it before compromising on anything.  Why then would Boehner choose this precise moment to remove four conservative party members from financial committees created to question government spending?  Why would he consider proposing $800B tax revenue instead of demanding cuts on government spending from the White House?  Indeed, why would Boehner undermine his own position and endanger the future of millions of Americans?

Of the many possibilities available to explain Boehner’s appalling behavior, one explanation in particular bears deep consideration by all.  Boehner appears to be suffering from a disorder called Spineolessness.  Those afflicted with this malady are often unable to perform certain duties such as standing upright in the face of adversity.  Symptoms left untreated may cause these individuals to become confused, insecure, and afraid.  As time passes, patients exhibit outlandish behavior by becoming harsh and critical towards those providing support and care instead of questioning the motives of their adversary.  In extreme cases, the patient completely loses the ability to hear clear directives coming from the people who care about his or her well-being.  Instead, the patient scrambles for whatever remedy is offered quickly in hopes of finding immediate relief from the ailment.  Unfortunately, the quick relief offered by the competition is typically transitional and by the time the patient realizes their predicament, it is often too late.  Although, Spineolessness is highly contagious and spreads quickly, if caught early enough, the patient has a chance of survival.  To be sure, the only known cure for this insufferable disorder is a heavy dose of principles and plenty of faith to glug it down daily. 

Spineolessness has appeared throughout the nation at various times; however, it is currently running rampant in the Washington D.C. area.  Many of the greatest leaders of the United States have at one time or another succumbed to this phenomenon.  As such, politicians, especially the GOP representatives, should remain vigilant in carrying extra doses of principles on their person at all times to avoid becoming yet another victim of the deadly disorder. 

The recent outbreak of Spineolessness in Washington has placed the people on high alert.  As a result, they will promptly remind politicians to take the proper dose of principles to avoid a dangerous attack of Spineolessness.  Unfortunately, Boehner’s case is fast becoming dangerous and to avoid further damage, he must immediately take time away to think and gather what is left of his principles.  Perhaps if he did so, he may find himself delivered from the scourge of Washington, eventually.  


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